Torn up
Today I am weepy. Weepy meaning that I will cry at pretty much anything. While driving my 40 mile round trip to Temple to pick up with kids, I found myself crying to a song on the radio. Halo by Beyonce’. I don’t care for Beyonce’ but I couldn’t turn the channel because I was caught up In the words of the song. I was thinking about the past, which I can’t change but have wonder why certain thing happen the way they do.
I was thinking to myself…who lives this life?? This is CRAZY
I have been without my husband for over 10 months and I still have 2 more to go. This is deployment number FIVE or SIX…I can’t seem to remember but I do know this. Keith has been away from me for years and I am left with trying to live, grow our family and to be strong and frankly, I am tired and feeling a bit inadequate.
He didn’t call me today and when he doesn’t that only means that something bad has happened AGAIN and the phones are shut down until the families have been notified. It makes me so sad that another family is being put through hell…and for what? I don’t know anymore. I tried to explain to the kids tonight that we love our country so much that we will give up having a dad and when he does finally get home that we shouldn’t expect the same person that left. I told them that he has seen some horrible things and it will take a while before it all gets back to normal. Army says expect at least another year until normalcy occurs--- I say WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT
This deployment has been like no other and I just pray that we get a reprieve for just a little while so these kids remember where they came from. It has been difficult to say the least and it is hard to understand if you don’t live the lifestyle yourself. Most people are sick to death of hearing about Iraq or Afghanistan…but with all that said, I don’t think I would change it if I were given a chance. Only because Keith loves it and he was born to do it. I love the adventures, but I despise the loneliness that accompanies it and I don’t care for the pain of families torn up because of their soldier’s bravery. It is such a fine balance.
A year ago I remember going to the Brigades departing ceremony and thinking to myself, “not all these soldiers are going to come back home” and damn it…this time I hate being right.
I was thinking to myself…who lives this life?? This is CRAZY
I have been without my husband for over 10 months and I still have 2 more to go. This is deployment number FIVE or SIX…I can’t seem to remember but I do know this. Keith has been away from me for years and I am left with trying to live, grow our family and to be strong and frankly, I am tired and feeling a bit inadequate.
He didn’t call me today and when he doesn’t that only means that something bad has happened AGAIN and the phones are shut down until the families have been notified. It makes me so sad that another family is being put through hell…and for what? I don’t know anymore. I tried to explain to the kids tonight that we love our country so much that we will give up having a dad and when he does finally get home that we shouldn’t expect the same person that left. I told them that he has seen some horrible things and it will take a while before it all gets back to normal. Army says expect at least another year until normalcy occurs--- I say WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT
This deployment has been like no other and I just pray that we get a reprieve for just a little while so these kids remember where they came from. It has been difficult to say the least and it is hard to understand if you don’t live the lifestyle yourself. Most people are sick to death of hearing about Iraq or Afghanistan…but with all that said, I don’t think I would change it if I were given a chance. Only because Keith loves it and he was born to do it. I love the adventures, but I despise the loneliness that accompanies it and I don’t care for the pain of families torn up because of their soldier’s bravery. It is such a fine balance.
A year ago I remember going to the Brigades departing ceremony and thinking to myself, “not all these soldiers are going to come back home” and damn it…this time I hate being right.
posted by Paige Tyler at
Saturday, May 02, 2009
1 Comments:
This really brings home how hard it is for military families. Great post Paige and I truly feel for you. That would be so hard and I respect how much you do for your family and how much you ALL (husband included) have to give up in order for your husband to protect all of us. Thank you!!!
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